The Singular They: Grammar vs. Style
Lately, I’m seeing versions of the following rant: “The singular ‘they’ is grammatically incorrect. If you don’t know the gender of the subject, then you should default to ‘he’ or ‘it.’”
People often confuse grammar and style. Many think they know the former, when, in reality, they are just reflexively reciting some version of the latter they learned in grade school.
Here’s the difference.
Few editors would let you get away with writing “they is,” unless it was used in some sort of slang-driven dialogue. (Or in some rambling blog post on Medium about the difference between grammar and style.) “They are” is the proper conjugation, ergo grammatically correct.
On the other hand, many editors will let “they” slide as a gender-neutral pronoun. Take the following Mad Libs sentence as an example: “The student stayed up late last night to study so [PRONOUN] would do well on the test.” Lacking any other context, it is appropriate to fill in the blank with “they.”
This isn’t a hard-and-fast rule because it is a matter of style, not grammar. Some editors might encourage you to rewrite your sentence in order to avoid using the singular they, which is also an acceptable solution. For example, you could front-load the subordinate clause and turn it into an introductory phrase, so: “Wanting to do well on the test, the student stayed up late last night to study.”
Don’t confuse “acceptable usage” as being monolithic. While grammar tends to be black and white, style encapsulates the gray areas of writing (e.g., the Oxford comma, spacing after periods, writing out numerals). What’s “right and wrong” is subjective, depending entirely on what style guide (e.g., AP, Chicago) your editor is using to maintain consistency within the specific document they are reviewing at a given time.
That said, style guides will often adopt new rules en masse in response to changing cultural norms. Increasingly, most style guides are incorporating gender-neutral devices, such as the singular they. Paul Froke, the AP Stylebook’s lead editor, explained the reasoning behind her publication adopting the singular they:
We offer new advice for two reasons: recognition that the spoken language uses they as singular, and we also recognize the need for a pronoun for people who don’t identify as a he or a she.
Language reflects culture, so when culture changes, language follows. And that change is often communicated via style.
And those changes don’t happen overnight. Ask the folks who are trying to make “LatinX” a thing. The laws of thermodynamics don’t apply here: For every culture, there is not an equal and opposite counterculture.
Resistance to these changes is only natural: Humans instinctively avoid change, be it cultural or linguistic. But opposition to change often sounds the same: a repetitive and reactionary recitation of the “old rules.” And why are the old rules better than the new ones? Because “that’s the way I was taught in school.” (Which is funny coming from a crowd that seems deeply concerned about our education system “indoctrinating” our children.)
However, if you find yourself clinging to specific words and the rules you learned about those words, you may need to consider what else you might be clinging to. And why.
